I'm Back - Part 1

Written on Sunday, June 10th @ 45Central in Seaside Square, Santa Roasa Beach, FL ...

I knew that I'd eventually be writing this post. I knew this day was coming. However, what I didn't know is how terribly hard it would be and when it would exactly happen.

To say that I've had 'writer's block' these past few months would be an understatement. I've been going non-stop. I returned stateside at the beginning of March, and this is the first weekend where I've had time to sit down and be by myself. I'm not complaining though. If anything, I'm so thankful for the way the timing has worked out --- unbelievably thankful. 

These past three months have been a whirlwind.

Visiting family and friends. Flying to Phoenix, Houston, and South Carolina. Multiple trips to Montgomery, AL. A bridal shower, bachelorette, wedding, and a formal ball. Committing to hot yoga. Starting a new job. And learning what it's like to want someone and something around.

As hectic as I've let my life get, I'm so appreciative for it. It's been a distraction in the best sense. I miss Japan terribly. I miss it every single day. I still don't feel like I'm 'back'. I still feel like I'm supposed to be returning. I get these feelings of wanting to return and when they happen I'm immediately reminded that I don't have a return ticket.

I'm back.

I'm really back.

I know I sound like I'm about to run ... but I'm not. I'm actually staying. For the first time in, well, maybe all of my life, I'm staying -- at least I'm trying to.

I'm not saying that I plan to be in Destin, FL forever --- I have a long list of things I want to do and see. What I'm saying is that I'm not reverting to running when things get uncomfortable, which for me, means too comfortable and potentially stable.

So I'm working on staying ... staying consistent; staying open; staying honest. 

I know these next months will be a challenge. The distractions are fading and the newness is wearing off, but I plan on being here. I'm ready to practice staying. 

Last weekend I heard a message that resonated with me. It was definitely something that I needed to hear.  It was a message that talked about the importance of rest. They turned the word into the following acronym ...

Routine - develop a sustainable routine
Emotion - allow your emotions to be balanced
Sleep - let your body recover naturally
Time  - take time to stop and be present

I'm back.

I'm really, really, back.

XOXO,

M