Almost Perfect

Today was just that, almost perfect.

I woke up relatively early and  made a cup of Starbucks Origami Holiday Blend coffee.

It had my apartment smelling delicious. I took my time getting ready and dressed in all black as I waited for Shoko-san and her friends to pick me up at my apartment.

The four of us spent our day in the best way . . . 

- We had a reservation for omakase sushi at Sushi Yatai. We sat at a sushi bar which overlooks the ocean, inside of two black matte shipping containers. The view was spectacular and our sushi was prepared right in front of us. おいしい ですね。

- We exchanged holiday gifts and Christmas cards. メリー クリスマス!

- We took a long drive through the mountains. Shoko-san and I shared the backseat and enjoyed being chauffeured around. Long drives are one of my favorite things. I would gladly give my car keys to anyone who wants to drive me around. Today's drive took us on winding roads that were covered with overhanging tree limbs -- よかつたですね。

- We walked through the grounds of the Munakata Shrine, which is a UNESCO World Heritage Site. The grounds were breathtaking and there was something magical about it all. At one point I thought, This is like Disney Land. It doesn't feel real. 

- We had cafe au laits at Komeda Coffee and talked about, well ... everything, zenbu, 全部.

At the end of our day, we all said goodbye and thanked each other for the time we spent together. The next time we see each other will be at my Goodbye "さようなら" Party in February. I'm looking forward to being with them, but not necessarily celebrating the occasion. 

This almost perfect day made me begin to realize everything I'll be giving up by returning stateside. This is another moment where I hear my father and the Moussalli's saying, There's an opportunity cost. There's always an opportunity cost. So even though I've decided to return, part of me is holding on tight to Japan and the life that I have here. Right now, it's perfect* for me. 

Take a look . . . 

It's my own perfect* life.

Living in southern Japan is nothing like I expected it to be. In some ways it's worse, but in most ways it's better. There have been highs and lows; moments of doubt; and times when I struggled and times when I've thrived. In any given day, I can be found laughing, crying, rushing around, and always thanking something or someone for their kindness and help.

I love living here. I love being a seasoned guest. Japan is uniquely its own and I'm so thankful to be experiencing it. My relationship with Japan is different than most other ALTs (Assistant Language Teachers), though. 

Unlike others, I didn't come here for the anime, culture, food, language, or history. Because of that, I often find myself listening instead of participating in work conversations. I'm not complaining, though, because I enjoy it. I like to listen to people talk about their interests, hobbies, passions - anything that puts life in their eyes.

So whenever these conversations happen, or when someone asks me why I came here, I question myself before answering. Sometimes I find it difficult to say my reason out loud. Not because I'm embarrassed, or ashamed, but because it's unbelievably personal and shows my character.

I came to Japan for selfish reasons. I came to take time for myself. I wanted to live, work, and challenge myself to adapt to a new environment and culture all on my own.

And that's exactly what I've been doing. I've been taking time to learn about myself, my interests, my passions and dreams; what I admire, believe in, and what I question.  Some days bring clarity, while others knock me off my feet and push me backwards. But with every day and every experience, I'm growing, learning, and doing my best to be my best self. And that makes me incredibly happy.

So this almost perfect life is just missing two things . . . 

my family & old friends.

If I could keep living out my routine here in Japan and have my family and friends with me, well I'd never leave. But that's not practical, nor would I want it to be. Just like me, they have their own lives to live and enjoy.

So while I'm still on my time, I'm going to keep living out my perfect* routine, and enjoy every bit of it. Because like I've said before, one day I'll be nostalgic for this life - living in southern Japan and working as an ALT.

XOXO,

M